Jose Mourinho returning to Real Madrid is the maddest idea of all

Mourinho will be tasked with calming the chaos at the Bernabeu (Picture: Getty)

Cults require charismatic leaders.

But, even more importantly, a cult must successfully maintain a state of paranoia that traps its members inside. This says that everyone who is not with you is against you; the only safe act is to remain. This belief needs to hold no matter how esoteric the cult’s practices have become, or if its power seems to be fading.

This week, when Real Madrid president Florentino Perez announced his first media conference since 2018, the timing seemed to hint at managerial change. 

His club have just confirmed a second-successive trophy-less season. Barcelona’s wi...